The more I work on decluttering my mind the easier it becomes to notice how fleeting thoughts affect my body. The other day, I was in the middle of my salsa class when I suddenly misstepped and lost the rhythm. I remember looking down at the floor as if trying to find the culprit somewhere beneath my feet. The culprit, however, wasn’t down there, it was several feet higher; in my head.
A couple of seconds before, I had been noticing how lost another couple was. Most of the group was synchronized, but they were clearly lost. My slight feeling of superiority was short-lived, now I was just as lost as they were. Probably even worse because I wasn’t moving at all anymore. All was not lost though, I quickly realized what had happened and made a conscious effort to focus on my own dancing.
A couple of days later I went to a party. This party had chairs surrounding the dance floor. While sitting on one of these chairs I could see everyone dancing. It occurred to me to look at their feet to see how many of them were actually following the music. The truth is, most of them weren’t. I could see them getting lost and reattempting to find the beat over and over again. You wouldn’t know this from seeing their faces. They were immersed in the music and were having fun.
For a second I felt a sense of pride as if by noticing their “mistakes” I was suddenly a better dancer. Don’t we all do that sometimes? We find how someone is not perfect and believe that because we noticed we are somehow better. I was missing the point however, the only reason I could see their “mistakes” is that I wasn’t dancing. I was just sitting there doing nothing. They were not trying to be perfect, they were having fun and I wasn’t because I was too busy judging.
People who judge can’t dance.
In order to judge you need to be a passive spectator of other people’s actions. In order to dance you have to be the locus of action. In order to dance you have to risk making mistakes. In order to dance you have to loosen control. You can’t dance whilst you worry about what others are doing or thinking.
People who judge can’t dance.
The fear of shame does nothing more than paralyze you. It fools you into believing that by standing still you will avoid making mistakes. The thing is, not making any mistakes is a mistake in itself.
People who judge can’t dance; this is what I repeat to myself when I step into the dance floor.
“Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not. ”- C. Jung
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Excellent mantra! :)